Relationship: 8 ways to become instantly more likeable

If she doesn't like you then it's your fault.
It can take as little as 100 milliseconds for people to make up their minds about you, research has shown. That’s literally less than the blink of an eye. With that little time, everything from what you wear to what you do with your hands has an impact...

Being likable is mainly about being accessible, says Marc Salem, Ph.D., a nonverbal communications consultant. "You want to break down barriers between you and other people," he says. If you want to make the most of those first 100 milliseconds and the ones that follow—whether it’s for a first date or a job interview

1. Take care of your nails

You probably already know that you should brush your teeth and trim your beard. But nails are an often overlooked and surprisingly important part of grooming, Salem says. "It shows a basic tendency to care," he says. There's laziness to an unkempt appearance. "But when you're well groomed, you're more pleasant to be around," he says. "You sparkle and you feel better."

2. Smell nice 

People will like you more if you smell nice—but not too nice. A study from Northwestern University found that people rated faces as more likable if they were accompanied by a pleasant aroma, but only if they were unaware of the smell. 

3. No shades

You want to look approachable, not shady, Salem says. Covering your face creates a barrier between you and the other person and makes you seem standoffish. So save the sunglasses for when you really need them, like at the game or at the beach, and take them off when you meet new people.

4. Don't cross your arms

You might be chilly, but to the other person, you look rude, Salem says. If your hands are open—for example, at your sides with your palms facing the other person—it communicates that you're accepting. While you're at it, pivot to face the person head-on. This shows that you're completely vulnerable, Salem says.

5. Nod at strangers on the street with a smile

Make eye contact with your fellow humans. Being acknowledged with a glance or a smile by passersby makes people feel connected, a study from Purdue University found. (On the flip side, looking through them—gazing at their eye level but not meeting their eyes—makes them feel ostracized.) In a world where most people are busy pretending there's something interesting on their phones, you'll stand out with just a nod.

6. Be a chameleon

People like you more when you mimic their postures, movements, and mannerisms, research has shown. For example, take note if your boss tilts his head to one side, leans forward, or smiles, and do that. Make sure it's not obvious, Salem says, or you might creep them out. "But if you do it subtly," he says, "they feel like you are entering their world."

7. Listen to her own part of the story and Know when to shut up

Don’t be a one-upper responding to your buddy's every statement with your own story. Scientists have a name for that—reciprocal self-disclosure—and it's annoying. Research has shown that people who make empathetic statements are liked more than people who respond with their own stories. "The key is to ask thoughtful questions and resist the urge to jump in with our own comments and observations," says Chris Malone, coauthor of The HUMAN Brand: How We Relate to People, Products & Companies. "Just listen, process, and then ask another thoughtful question."

8. Be you, bro

Do not try to live a life of wanna be" if she doesn't like you then it's your fault.

Good news: You're perceived to be trustworthy just because you're a guy, according to a new study from the University of Alabama. The researchers had people rate witnesses as they testified in court on a scale of 1 to 10 on likability, trustworthiness, confidence, and knowledge. The male witnesses received an average trustworthy score of 7.43, while the women’s was 6.70. (Men’s likability rating was higher, too, but not enough to be significant.) The researchers say it may have to do with men historically having more power and status than women. Just don't use this fact in an argument with your girlfriend.

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